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ã 1999, by P. Wells

My Testimony

Seven Reasons Conversations with the Lord Are Authentic

1. My Credentials
2. The First Message
3. The Second Message

• Introduction
• God’s Chosen Witness
• Jesus Christ is Lord

One of the two enclosed messages from the Lord was given to me on November 9, 1986, and is directly related to a conversation that I had with the Lord twelve years earlier in September of 1974. I wrote a book based on the earlier conversation called, Should One Christian Strike Another, which was not published. The first message is preceded by "My Testimony," relating how Satan tried to destroy the conversation on which my book was based, and "My Credentials," showing how Satan tried to destroy my credibility. The Satanic attacks on my credibility is the reason for witnesses to verify all of my works.

The Lord advised me in a later conversation that I had with Him in October of l986 to send the message with the prefaces to ten top evangelists in the country. The message concerned the rearing of children according the Lord’s way--not the way most of the Lord’s servants were advising at the time based on Solomon’s wisdom under the Old Law or the laws given to Moses for the Jews before Christ.

The Lord warned the Evangelists that they must modify their teachings or they would lose their peace. I did exactly as I was instructed to do, which included sending the same dated message to a number of local servants of the Lord, who could verify the accuracy of the message and the authenticity of the dates at a later date, if necessary. The time has come for me to submit the first message from the Lord and a much longer message given me on October 24, l988, for publication, which is the "later date," that the Lord must have had in mind (1998).

These messages are the facts. I have included the names of the top Evangelists to whom I sent the first message. Within two years after I mailed the messages, scandals broke out in the ranks of several of their ministries. The fact is that I did not hear or read an account of their having changed their minds about how children should be reared, according to the Lord Jesus Christ. You be the judge! The second message was sent to witnesses in the area, but it was not published before now.

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1. Doctors said my husband could lose his leg because of an incurable disease, chronic osteomyelitis of the femur, contracted on the battlefield in World War II.

2. We had six children that I thought I might have to support without any marketable skills and only two years of college.

3. I decided to go back to school--full time--planning to schedule my classes, so that I could leave campus, run a mile to the bus station, and arrive home just as my children arrived home on the school bus. I arose at seven and was dropped off for my

8 o’clock class by my husband on his was to work.

4. After school, I cleaned house, did laundry, supervised homework, scrubbed floors, cooked dinner, cleaned the kitchen, and at ten o’clock (bedtime for the kids), I did my homework, sometimes until two or three in the morning. For two and one-half years, I kept up that pace. Since I majored in English, I had a great deal of outside reading to do and many papers to write on the weekends. Fortunately, I enjoyed good health.

5. In the last semester before graduation (during my student teaching semester), I was seen weeping in the teacher’s room in response to my cooperating teacher’s calling me a liar in front of other teachers on the staff. These tears may have been an early symptom of an impending nervous breakdown, but I quickly recovered--partly because the other teachers realized that the accusation was false and unjust. One teacher said, "I am glad I did not have her for a cooperating teacher!" Fact: I never cry as a rule, for trivial reasons, such as the incident just described.

6. The cooperating teacher, whose recommendation was important to my ultimate employment, was jealous of her students’ regard for me. She showed her jealousy in many ways: by capriciously canceling my assignments, making it impossible for me to keep promises to the students, falsely accusing me of taking credit for class-enriching experiences that I arranged--but she resented--saying she deserved the credit, because it was her class.

Actually, I was not a teen-ager like most of her students, and was experienced in dealing with jealousy. So, I had made a point to give her credit for what I had done to the school reporter. When she screamed her accusation at me, I took a great deal of pleasure in reassuring her that, "I would not do such a thing." She said, "Oh!"

However, in her place, I would have insisted any student of mine would receive all the credit deserved--to encourage that student. Wouldn’t you? Envy is probably one of the most self-destructive of all emotions--not to mention the damage that jealousy can do to its victims.

No question about it, I was in a state of exhaustion, and the added stress of the above-described relationship was beginning to take its toll, but I did not dare rest. To make matters worse, the cooperating teacher wrote in her report (which we were not permitted to read), that I was emotionally immature and should be seen by a psychiatrist before being awarded a certificate to teach. Nothing I did, apparently, had placated her jealousy.

7. Without any explanation, my advisor told me that I would have to see a psychiatrist for evaluation before I could be certified. The evaluation included seven hours of testing, The Rorschach test, the Little King test, an association test, and other written tests in which I was asked about my attitudes and past experiences, as well as oral tests in which my body language was "studied" in person, I presume. In addition, the psychiatrist indicated that my "prognosis was excellent," but I still would be required to attend hour-long sessions in therapy twice a week for three months.

In the first session, I said, "I do not think I need this therapy. I think I need a lawyer. The psychiatrist was obviously shocked! I laughed and reassured him. "Don’t worry! I can’t afford one, but I truly cannot afford these sessions either." He relaxed, but I knew that he immediately was having second thoughts. He proceeded cautiously without looking me in the eye, "Tell me about your parents."

I could not resist. I said, "I hated them--naturally--as a kid. Doesn’t everybody?

But I’m not a kid, anymore. I have teen-agers of my own, a son who is a senior in high school, the same age as my students. I see things from a different perspective now."

I made a point to look at my watch on occasion, and mentioned more than once that a good nights sleep would do me a great deal more good than these boring sessions.

I would like to point out, considering subsequent events, that the results of the psychological tests were persuasive evidence that I had no signs of any psychoses.

Psychoses are more often caused by genetic chemical imbalances than by traumatic or stressful situations, and exist from birth. They do not just suddenly develop at some specified date. Most psychotics exhibit symptoms that would be easily recognized by an expert long before they or their family members consider the problem serious enough to seek help. Some never do, and I had some doubts about my cooperating teacher!

The psychiatrist, without realizing that I knew his secretary personally, because she was from our hometown and had worked with me on P. T. A. committees and as a room mother, confided in her as to my "progress." He told her that he had never known anyone who suffered so much stress without having a breakdown, but he said my intelligence might have been a factor. He said, "She has an I. Q. higher than most psychiatrists."

My friend knew that she was not supposed to repeat what he had told her in confidence, but she could not resist. She loved it! I told her that a high I. Q. was not even closely related to success in life or to one’s mental health, but she had been brainwashed! Of course, we need to define, "success," and "mental health," don’t we?

8. Finally, I was cleared for certification, and was graduated with a 4.33 average out of 5.0, which satisfied me under the circumstances. I applied for a job in our town in May of 1966, and was promised a job teaching remedial reading, if I attended the summer session to take a special course at the Masters degree level in that area.

I agreed, and decided that I might as well take another course at the 400 level toward a Master’s degree in counseling, called the Exceptional Child, an euphemism for troubled children, including an underachiever with a high I. Q. My husband could not pick me up earlier, anyway. I completed the psychology course with an "A" and broke down crying uncontrollably during the final exam of the remedial reading course.

The irony is that I taught myself to read in "one day" at the age of three, according to my baby book, and at the age of four I was teaching all my kindergarten classmates to do the same, until the teacher caught me. She dragged me all over the very large school in Chicago, asking me to demonstrate my ability to read. Yet, I received a "D" in the reading course, which is the only "D" I had ever received in my life. But it proved my point. A high I. Q. does not ensure success! I failed to do at age forty what I easily did at age three! Why?

9. I did not get the job to teach reading, and was so discouraged that I began searching in unorthodox quarters for solutions to my problems, which did not make sense to me. I consulted psychics, and dabbled in palmistry, astrology, tea leaf reading, pendulums, tarot cards, Ouija boards, and other advertised ways to find "answers" in unconventional ways.

As a Christian, I really did not believe answers could be found by playing with inanimate objects. I did believe that answers to all my problems were within me by the Holy Spirit. I was trying to understand the mind of God and His plan for my life, because I did not believe that I was getting through to Him or that He was getting through to me in the conventional way (prayer).

That does not make sense to me now, but at the time it did. However, I soon learned that messing around with the occult (and reading or studying ideas of cult gurus) is one of the most dangerous practices known to man, but I learned that lesson--almost--too late. Exhaustion, inability to relax, coupled with this new activity literally pushed me over the edge. In a state of terror, I voluntarily checked myself into the psychiatric ward of the nearby hospital to obtain help.

Before leaving for the hospital, I burned all the occult paraphernalia, and all books on the subjects that I mentioned above. I realized that Satan was attacking my mind, because I literally invited him to do so. "Quoth the raven!" With the help of the Lord Jesus Christ, I did recover, but it was a long, long haul!

Summary: My vices also included smoking three packs of non-filter cigarettes a day, drinking quarts of coffee all day, (Coffee is the upper one needs after smoking, since nicotine is a downer; I was an addict.) Fortunately, the Lord delivered me from these vices too, and the same day healed me of chronic bronchitis. One day, I was coughing up blood in the toilet, and the next day, after my healing, I was healed completely--did not even need to clear my throat. I have never wanted a cigarette since.

I was not so easily healed of my panic attacks, one of the major symptoms of the nervous breakdown. I had no doubt that my nervous system had gone haywire, sending and receiving all the wrong signals, which were not getting through. I knew that, but could not voluntarily gain control of the situation. I could not respond to the simplest questions: my name, the date, or even the season of the year. I desperately struggled to think, but just drew blanks.

My children were obviously bewildered by my disorientation, but so was I, believing God had abandoned me, because of my "fraternizing with the enemy." Not that I blamed Him, but later I found out that I could not have been more wrong.

In the meantime, I was haunted by impressions of gray shadows that cut me off from any reality--the environment around me. My only thought was a compulsion to keep repeating the Bible verse, John 3: 16, which seemed to be preventing the shadows from closing in on me, and keeping the negative thoughts at bay, that had been tormenting and accusing me.

Except for that one verse, my mind had blocked out all other thoughts and emotions, other than a sense of terror, at the thought that God would abandon me forever, if I should stop repeating God’s promise of salvation. In my state of mind, I believed that repeating God’s promise over and over was my only hope, and it really did reassure me.

Later, the German psychiatrist that received me in the emergency room advised my mother, who flew out from Phoenix, AZ to stay with our children, that stress and loss of sleep over a long period of time could literally damage nerve cells. I think he compared the damage to bloodshot eyes due to eyestrain.

He assured her that my condition could be compared to battle fatigue that soldiers suffer under similar stress on the battlefield. (He had treated such soldiers following World War II). My mother had asked him, if she were to blame. (Guilty conscience, no doubt!) But he said, "No.!" I agree. My unwise decisions had nothing to do with my mother.

The psychiatrist advised my husband that my situation was grave, and he said that without proper medical treatment, I could remain in the state that I was in, indefinitely. They worked out a plan, which I have related in another part of this work to make a point.

While I was recovering, I discussed my illness with the doctor, and remarked, "I must be a very weak person." He snorted, "Bad judgment--not weak. You are the only one I ever treated who pushed herself over the edge, since the stress of war usually pushes soldiers over the edge, because they have no way out except to desert. Why didn’t you quit?"

My only excuse was, "Hindsight is better than foresight," although I thought I had no way out at the time. I was treated, and ready and able to check myself out in fourteen or fifteen days. I cannot remember taking the tranquilizers that he sent home with me, to take "as needed."

The special treatment that I received (insulin drug shock treatments that induced convulsions, and literally destroyed brain cells related to memory), was later discontinued altogether by the medical profession. It worked at the time, but was reputed to cause very serious problems down the road. I do not know, if the panic attacks that I began having much later was related to that treatment or not, but I do know that they were worse than childbirth pains.

The attacks became so severe that I checked myself into the hospital again on June 4, l972 (six years after the breakdown), for a week. This time, they prescribed medication to induce deep sleep. I badly needed the rest! They also prescribed tranquilizers to take as needed, when I checked myself out a week later.

At this point, I decided to apply my own brand of therapy, because the panic attacks were not cured. My family and I started attending a charismatic church, which a sister-in-law, who attended, insisted could help me through prayer, which she said could effect miracles. I attended, and when the subject came up, I testified as to the dangers of getting involved with occult practices and cult religions.

I also wrote letters and even essays as to how Satan deceived us into listening to his lies instead of God’s truths. I mailed copies to anyone and everyone I knew, who had also played games with the devil. In the meantime, I saturated my brain, soul, and spirit with God’s word, having placed Holy Bibles all over the house, where I might sit and study, while rocking or nurturing my children, or working in the kitchen, or even when "sitting" in the bathroom. I finally decided that answers to all man’s problems could be found only in the Word of God, which is where I was finding them.

The panic attacks did become less severe, but not any less frequent. The battle was far from over, and I turned to other members of the congregation for prayer. In the meantime, I latched on to two verses with the tenacity of a bulldog, "God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of love, power, and a sound mind." (The modified versions of this verse would NOT have helped me a bit. I believe that we need to read the words, "love," "power," and "sound mind.") Also, I began practicing, "Love casts out fear."

I forced myself to perform as many selfless services that I could find to do without neglecting my family members. I taught a Sunday school class for pre-school children, and volunteered for five years to serve as director of our town’s summer recreation program. We provided dozens of activities for over 400 school children. I also took a poverty-stricken family under my wing by inviting them to do their laundry and bathe in our home, because they had no water in theirs, and we shared with them what food we had. I learned that "forcing" ourselves to perform acts of love in obedience to God, even though we do not feel like it, will work to cure depression and even heal panic attacks.

I was comforted by the thought that the Lord said that anyone who shared a cup of cold water in the name of a prophet would not lose his reward. I couldn’t even count the cups! And that was exactly the way I thought the Lord wanted me to meet that requirement. Each day that passed gave me more confidence that the Lord was going to heal me, because I did everything I knew to do to be right in the center of his will.

At that point, I believed my faith was related more to my actions than to God’s. I had more lessons to learn, but so far He had not interfered with my struggle. These lessons were taught me by the Lord, when I began listening to Him speak to my spirit, and I was so relieved.

The battle really is not ours to fight alone, but sometimes it takes a little time for the Holy Spirit to wash away all the confusion and smog that Satan puts in our minds to blind our thinking. We need clear minds to hear the Lord, but understanding the Word of God with obedience to that Word is a good beginning. Not all cases are alike. Some believers catch on much earlier than I did.

One day, I cried out to the Lord, ‘Why do you speak to everyone but me," as so many members in our congregation had testified that He did. I asked, "Where are you, Lord?" He answered, "I’m here." I nearly jumped out of my skin, but I was overjoyed. A conversation (fifty-two recorded pages) ensued, over a period of several days. (I recorded each segment of the conversation, immediately after it ended.) The big news is that I had absolutely no panic attacks after we had that conversation. I was healed! I enjoyed a quiet inner peace that I had not enjoyed since childhood.

I couldn’t help but share my recorded conversation and the facts surrounding my healing with family members, but their reaction (skepticism) kept me from testifying at church. I asked them to read the testimony that I had recorded, but only my one daughter was eager to do so. She said, "Mom, this is beautiful. It made me cry!"

You can imagine how shocked I was, when the head of the children’s department at our church, paid us a visit, when my husband was not home. He was reputed to have the gift of prophecy, but I did not know him at all. He told me before I had a chance to invite him into our home, "I know that you have been mixed up in the occult, and that you are communicating with Satan." I was terrified by his words, but I quickly recovered, because I knew he was mistaken about my communicating with Satan but wondered how he knew that I had been "mixed up in the occult."

I invited him in to sit down, but I denied his accusation--almost vehemently. I protested that I knew that the conversation I had was with the Lord, and insisted that he read it. My problem was that he purported to have information about the conversation, that he could not have had except by supernatural means. He was a respected member of our church! I did not have enough confidence to dismiss what he was saying without question.

He did agree to read it, if I brought the account to him. He lied. As soon as he had the papers in his hand, he walked out on the terrace and proceeded to burn them with his cigarette lighter (He admitted that he was a heavy smoker.). I was distraught, as that was the only copy that I had.

I reached for the manuscript, but he was a tall large man, and he held the papers out of my reach, while turning his large belly toward me. I was embarrassed and humiliated by my own behavior, which was certainly undignified, as I was jumping around like a child being teased by some tormenting adult.

Finally, I mustered what dignity I had left, and demanded that he hand me my property, saying, "You have no right to destroy what is mine, even if you do think it is of the devil. Please leave."
In a patronizing tone, he admonished, "I am doing this for your own good." And he lit his lighter again and burned the papers to an ash. I said, "No true Christian would have done such a thing, when you had the opportunity to read it, and explain your position with Scripture. You are not of God!" I shut the door firmly in his face, and walked back into the house, shaking and sobbing. I pleaded, "Help me understand, Lord." He did not answer.

Suddenly, I remembered. I had been healed of my panic attacks! The conversations had to be with the Lord! Satan doesn’t heal!

Nevertheless, I was very upset over the loss of the papers, and my parents who were visiting at the time were no consolation at all. My mother said, "I’m glad he burned those papers. Now you can forget all this nonsense about talking to Jesus. Why don’t you just act like a normal wife and mother should? You have a wonderful and loving husband who works hard, and you have remarkable children. You should know that Jesus does not have time to talk to ‘nobodies’ like you." (My mother had little respect for professional housewives and mothers. She was a successful businesswoman. I was the original latchkey kid.)

I had to admit that my record was not perfect, and my mother had some reason for suspecting my sanity, but why wouldn’t anyone listen to me? My whole world was coming down around me, and I had no one to blame but myself. Am I guilty? If I am, what am I doing wrong?

I heard my parents talking in low tones, but was too busy thinking to be concerned, until my mother announced, "As soon as your husband comes home, we are taking you to the hospital. You have really flipped this time."

I knew that the last thing I needed at this point was another hospitalization for what? I was set free of all symptoms of illness. My children arrived home from school, and I told our second son, age 16, that I was leaving and I tried to explain why. He said,

"O. K., I’ll go with you. You’ll probably need me."

I was grateful for his surprising offer, and we both took off running at a reasonable pace toward the nearby twin cities along the highway. I had no idea where we were going, but I knew I had to get away from my parents, who would--and probably could--convince my husband that I needed help.

I would like to remind the reader that I was the one who sought help when I needed it. I am not one to deny the inevitable, and have always faced problems head on. I was not running away, per se. I was just removing myself from a threatening situation: confinement, drugs, shock treatments, whatever. I did not want it or think I needed it. In fact, I felt great, except for the disrespect I was receiving.

When my mother discovered my absence, she drove around looking for me and spotted us ahead, running along the highway. She yelled at my son and companion to "Grab her," and "Put her in the car." My son ignored the yelling as we continued to trot.

The traffic was getting heavier, as everyone was returning from work. Most folks in our town worked in the twin cities or at the university.

We were beginning to attract attention from the bewildered passersby. It was a circus and we were the clowns! My son and I continued to trot along in rhythm, while my mother dodged traffic and screamed at us. We did not stop for ten miles, just at the edge of the city, when I collapsed. The situation was beginning to look hopeless.

My son half carried me to the car, and Mom drove back home. As I suspected, my parents easily convinced my husband that I needed to be hospitalized, although he did protest weakly a few times, "I thought she was doing O. K."

At the door of the emergency room, I protested quite violently one more time, wedging my body in the doorway, pushing my toes against one side and my back as hard as I could against the other. It was all that two orderlies could do to pry me loose.

That must have been a dilly of a report given to the psychiatrist on duty, who had never seen me before, and had no information except what my mother had told him, and the orderlies and others on the staff had observed. Naturally, he ordered them to arrange for maximum security in the psychotic ward of the hospital, where I was ultimately put in a bare, windowless room and strapped down on a table bolted to the floor in the middle of that room. Steel manacles were attached to both my wrists and my ankles. I was considered dangerous. At the time, I weighed about 120 pounds and I am 5’3" tall. A real threat!

In the meantime, I was strapped securely to a gurney to be transported to that destination. I recalled a book I had just read by Carothers, Prison to Praise, in which he advised his readers to sing praises to the Lord in difficult situations. Thinking my situation was somewhat difficult, I started singing softly, "Praise the Lord, Praise the Lord, etc." when two passing nurses heard me. One of them laughed, saying, "Another one gone on religion!"

To me, that was funny! I laughed to myself and apologized to the Lord, saying,

"I’m not doing your reputation any good, am I Lord?" At that point, I stopped singing, resisting, protesting, crying, whatever--and decided just to put my whole fate in the hands of the Lord. Some of you might think I had no choice, but I was the one who needed to realize that, not you! I soon had the peace back that I experienced at the end of my conversation with the Lord.

Nevertheless, they must have thought I was planning something desperate, and they continued to execute Plan A--the quiet room, which was the most miserable place in the world. I literally could not move one-half inch in any direction. To make sure I did not escape, they gave me a shot. I still could not sleep, but it did make me groggy. I remembered the verse that poison could not harm me, and I believed in that moment that it couldn’t even affect me enough to knock me out. I was not at all afraid.

Sometime later, I realized that I needed to go to the bathroom and prayed earnestly that the absolutely bare room with gray concrete walls "had to be" bugged. I called out my need, and immediately two orderlies unlocked the double-barred heavy door, and entered with a nurse. They cautiously removed my shackles, and nervously watched for signs of violence, while speaking in reassuring tones that they only wanted to help, and did not intend to harm me.

I repeated my request in a normal friendly voice, reassuring them that I was not dangerous, never had been, and had never even struck our six kids. One orderly mumbled, "You couldn’t prove it by me. You have the strength of ten men." I laughed.

"If you are referring to the difficulty you had removing me from the doorway where I had wedged myself in, that was a trick that I learned in Physics 101 where I studied the power of wedges in high school."

Curious about my rational behavior, they relaxed, handed me a paper cup, and turned their backs to me. The nurse stood next to me while they watched out of the corners of their eyes. I confided that the whole experience was humiliating, and the nurse said that she would try to have me moved to a conventional room in the same ward. She called, and received the necessary permission. I slept peacefully in my own room until morning.

The next morning, the psychiatrist met me for the first time and asked me to sign myself in. I quietly refused on the grounds that I did not need hospitalization, as I had been completely healed of my only problem, panic attacks, by Jesus Christ. He snorted. I asked him, "Don’t you believe in Jesus, Doctor?" He replied, "I believe only in the medication that you need, because I do not believe you are healed. You will need to stay here for a week until I am able to stabilize the dosage." He stood up to leave.

I firmly stated, "I do not need your medication, and I am leaving, Doctor."

He replied, "Not until I sign the release papers, you aren’t." Apparently, I could not leave voluntarily, unless I had signed myself into the hospital voluntarily. When my husband arrived, I asked him to sign for my release, but he said, "I can’t." I argued, "Why not? You signed me in, didn’t you?" He said, "I just can’t!"

The doctor also told me that he would not release me until I agreed to take his medication and stay on it. The medication he recommended was lithium, which must be carefully monitored by the psychiatrist by examining my blood every three months for life. The evaluation requires the patient to go to the doctor’s office and takes about five minutes. At that time each visit costs $30.00. Nice work, if you can get it!

Did I mention that he based his diagnosis solely on the report given him by my mother and on the fact that he was an atheist, who believed my conversation with the Lord had to be a delusion? What else could it be? He had given me no tests and had not even asked me my name, all of which I could have answered rationally. In any event, I decided to agree to his terms, and pray for deliverance. No way was I going to check myself in, indicating that I believed that I needed his treatment or his medication. It is impossible for me to act against my basic principles. I just cannot do that! We went home.

Aftermath, following the above-described experiences: I prayed and fasted 40 days and forty nights for the Lord to bring to my mind the conversation that we had--verbatim. That is not as hard as it may seem. It is really difficult to forget anything that the Lord says to you, but most of us remember it as needed rather than as given. I wanted it back as it was given.

A side effect of the fasting was that the lithium dosage became highly toxic, because a total fast (from food) means that no salt is eaten, either. Lithium becomes toxic in the absence of some salt intake. I developed uncontrollable spasmodic tremors on the fortieth day of the fast. Since I had no regular physician, I called the psychiatrist and asked, if he could explain my symptoms.

As I was speaking on the phone, the tremors were so violent that I thought I might chip my teeth with the mouthpiece of the phone. The doctor was alarmed, and ordered me to stop all medication at once, and said he wanted me to come in as soon as possible. The dosage was reduced to three capsules a day from six, and never increased again. I considered that progress in less than two months following the original prescription.

Also, the whole manuscript was restored except for an account of a game, and I asked my daughter to read it to see if she could remember anything that was missing. She marveled that it was the same, as well as she could remember. Months later, I recalled the account of the anagrams game I had left out, but the total number of pages had increased slightly so—if anything--the Lord may have added more insight to the original message. In that case the restored message was superior to the first.

I kept my word about staying on the drug for several years after that, because my husband insisted that the doctor knew more than I did. But another surprise occurred. I was leafing through the daily newspaper and saw that my psychiatrist was accused by one of his patients, a thirteen-year-old girl, of abusing her sexually. Apparently, the charge did not lead to a trial, probably because it was a case of her word against his, and she was a very disturbed child.

Nevertheless, his reputation was seriously affected, and he called me to tell me that he was returning to his home state, and planned to go into the same business that I was in (providing shelter care for the aged). I laughed, remembering how he asked me questions about my business at great length during our sessions. I thought, "I should have been charging him $30.00 an hour!" He said that he called to recommend another psychiatrist who was taking over the monitoring of his lithium patients.

My prayers had finally been answered. The new psychiatrist was a Quaker, who believed that Jesus Christ communicated with us, and he said that some of the most stable members of his denomination spoke freely of such experiences. But he added that some psychotics make the same claim. In my case, he would have to determine which. He said the dosage must be reduced gradually to prevent serious side effects, and asked me to make a list of symptoms that could arise, if I really needed lithium to restore a possible chemical imbalance. (Stopping any mind-altering drug abruptly is dangerous and can give rise to all kinds of delusions, violent behavior, and suicidal tendencies, which explains why it required two years to take me off all medication.)

I promised to report immediately any symptoms that he asked me to observe,

if present, and to give a list of these possible symptoms to members of my family, just in case they might notice them before I did. He also asked me to file a medical history and carefully recorded my progress.

In two years, I was free, and was able to experience emotions again. Medication may set one free from fear, but it also sets one free from joy, excitement, wonder, and compassion. It is the pits. I will take the bad feelings any day, just to have the good feelings restored. I cannot even remember ever being depressed, which is what lithium is noted for as a remedy. I knew that I had never had any of the other symptoms on the list indicating possible mental illness, which I was to report at once.

He explained that stressful situations could cause temporary depression or crying spells, but if I experienced either for no particular reason for more than forty-eight hours, I would probably need the lithium. I would have wanted help, if that was the case, but I never felt better than when I had taken the last dose. In any event, The Lord delivered me twice, and that is my testimony.

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[Table of Contents]

1. I recognize His voice, and the fact that He always speaks with kindly authority.

2. I have read copies of my conversations to other Spirit-filled Christians who confirmed that they believed that they were Scriptural, and that they agreed with the content in their spirits. Deuteronomy l9: 15; "At the mouth of two witnesses, or at the mouth of three witnesses, shall the matter be established." Also, II Corinthians 13: 1, " In the mouth of two or three witnesses shall every word be established."

3. Months after the man accused me of being involved in the occult and of talking to Satan, while he torched the only record of that conversation I had with the Lord, I sat next to his ex-wife in church. She recognized me, but I had never met her. She said that she was sorry for what had happened to me, but her husband was a homosexual who did not want to change, so she had no choice but to seek a divorce. She said that he had moved into a homosexual community in the area. She said that he had many good qualities, but he was not content to live a heterosexual life style. She thought that he was the one in bondage to Satan, because of his confusion concerning the Word of God.

4. My daughter, the only one who read the original conversation, thought it was beautiful, and the psychiatrist said that psychotics who claim to have conversations with God, report incoherent messages, or "commands" by voices to do destructive things, and they are anything but beautiful.

5. During the conversation, I was completely healed of panic attacks, which had tormented me for many years. Satan does not heal.

6. Jesus Christ himself told me to use my Strong’s Concordance to confirm that which he told me by His Holy Spirit (Rhema) by comparing it with the written Scripture in both the Old Testament and the New Testament. He also told me to quote the Scripture verses that supported what He said in all my writings. Therefore, my readers can judge for themselves.

7. Finally, I have been serving the Lord very effectively and in greatly increased power and love since we have been communicating. Many young people have been set free from drugs and turned from destructive behavior to constructive behavior as the result of my testimony.

The Word of God states in Matthew 12: 24-26; If Satan cast out Satan, he is divided against himself; how shall then his kingdom stand?" I do not believe that Satan has one good word to say for the works that I know I am doing to serve the Lord.

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I have not had a conversation with the Lord such as the following, since September of 1974, until this Monday, October 27, 1986. Before I asked the Lord any questions, He said to me, "If I speak to you in your language, instead of the language of the King James Version of the Holy Bible, will you be suspicious and doubt my true identity? I said, "No, Lord, you have always spoken to me in my language, and you even surprised me with your sense of humor."

"Good," said the Lord, "because I want you to understand exactly what I am saying to you. Keep your King James Holy Bible and your Strong’s Concordance handy though, Little One, as I expect you to confirm everything I say. You are to record all that I say in your words, however, because I will want your readers to understand exactly what I am saying, also." I agreed. "I want all your readers to understand these directions, so that they will know that I communicate with all my children, according to their understanding."

"Lord," I began, "I have so many questions. For one, I am concerned that I have trouble praising you with enthusiasm. I go through the motions in obedience and lift my hands until my arms ache. I cry out, ‘Hallelujah,’ and ‘Praise the Lord,’ but my heart isn’t in it. Yet, I know I love, and you know I love you. What is the matter with me?"

"Did you know, Little One, that the swallowing mechanism in your throat is so complex that no scientist or physician in the world understands exactly how it works? Nor would anyone have time to repair it, if it failed to function even if he knew how?"

"No, Lord, I didn’t even think about it!" I replied.

"How many people do you know who have choked to death, because their swallowing mechanism failed to function?" asked the Lord.

"I have choked on food that went down the wrong way, but I don’t know of anyone offhand, who choked to death, and certainly no one who choked, because their swallowing mechanism failed to function. One lady couldn’t swallow because of paralysis, but I cannot think of anyone----?"

The Lord continued, " How many dogs, cats, fowl of the air, beasts of the field, or any other creature have you known to die, because they could not swallow?"

As a farm girl, I should have been able to think of at least one case, but I could not, and admitted it. The Lord then asked, "Do you know why the swallowing mechanism seldom fails, when only one damaged nerve or muscle could cause failure?"

I was beginning to understand the importance of what the Lord was saying to me, and became really excited about it, "Lord, I think I am getting the message. You are telling me that you have created such a vital organ that it seldom fails, but if it should, you heal the problem, before anyone notices. Is that not so? That is incredible, more wonderful than I can imagine, and we are not even aware of your awesome mercy!"

The Lord then reminded me with a question, "How could anyone ask me to heal his swallowing mechanism, if he were choking to death?" I laughed.

The Lord mentioned that my chronic bronchitis had been healed at the time I asked Him to take away my smoking habit. He delivered me from the habit, and also healed my lungs, which I did not think to ask Him to do. I cried out with fervor, "That’s right! I remember! That was the best thing that ever happened to me. Praise God!"

"That’s better," said the Lord. "Count you blessings, and you will have no trouble praising me with enthusiasm!" I laughed.

"Satan is the one who robs my children of their joy and enthusiasm by whispering in their ears how miserable they are, and how it is all my fault! Even though he is the one who attacks your minds and bodies. Not Me! If I do not interfere, it is because I want all to see just how destructive he can be, when my children believe him and do not depend on me."

"Lord, what do you mean? I think you are trying to tell me something important, but I do not understand," I was rigid in my desire to catch all the implications of His Words."

I asked again, "Are you saying that Satan can attack me again, and you might not interfere?"

"You were smoking three packs of cigarettes and drinking many cups of coffee each day. Stimulants and drugs make my children very vulnerable to attacks by Satan, and can bring them under his influence--even into bondage to him. Since your behavior cut you off from my attempts to reach you, you turned to Satanic cults, and indulged in occult practices. Isn’t that true, Little One?"

I had to agree, "I am so sorry, Lord! Truly, I am!"

You have already been forgiven," the Lord quickly assured, "because you have confessed and repented. Satan tempted you, because he knew I had special plans for you, but I could not carry out those plans as long as you were double-minded. I needed your total attention."

"You have my attention, now," I pleaded. "What plans?"

"Be not afraid, Little One. I will not permit Satan to attack you more than you can bear. Doesn’t my Word say, ‘Greater is He that is in you than he that is in the world’? You are in control, as long as you walk in faith." The Lord reminded me.

I never cease to marvel how the Lord understands my slightest anxieties. I did wonder about those plans He had for me that would attract Satan’s attention! He knew exactly what to say to comfort me.

I changed the subject, because other doubts had been nagging at me, that I needed to understand. I asked, "Where in your Word does it say that a woman shouldn’t wear slacks? That Christian women must wear dresses?"

"You obviously do not know, do you?" The Lord was commenting on the way I was dressed at the time I asked the question.

I became very defensive. "No, I do not, and furthermore I do not even think--Why can’t we cut our hair, while we are on the subject?"

I have never heard the Lord laugh. I have not! But sometimes, I believed He was smiling, and this was one of those times. I guess I could not see the humor in my question! I did not like short hair on myself, but I had trimmed it many times to keep it at a manageable length. At least, the Lord could not accuse me of hypocrisy!

The Lord read my thoughts and said, "I am not the accuser. Satan has that title.

I commanded in the Sermon on the Mount, ‘Take no thought for what you eat, drink, or wear,’ didn’t I? Did you think that I did not mean that?"

"No, Lord, I didn’t, but I thought you just meant that we should not worry about what we ate, drank, or wore. I thought you just wanted us to depend on you for that."

Again, I was struggling to grasp what the Lord was saying.

He asked, "Then why are you worrying?" I tried to deny that I was. "I really think that you provided for my slacks, but I picked them out," I admitted.

"Why did you pick them out? The Lord asked.

"Because!" I stammered, "They hide my legs. You could call slacks more modest than skirts. I can bend over without being concerned about showing my underwear in the short skirts that are in style now. And they are much more comfortable than pantyhose and heels. I can work in them, and the ones I wear are completely washable, and suitable for wearing almost anywhere. I do not have to change to go from one activity to another. I don’t know why I prefer slacks. I just do. My question is why you don’t, Lord."

The Lord answered, "Both men and women wore robes which was the custom in my day, because they were cooler in the heat of the day, and warmer in the cold desert air. Most peoples of the world dress for comfort which some sacrifice for style out of pride."

I was stunned at the sudden realization that the critics of women who wore "pants" were being judgmental without considering the teachings of God.

" Didn’t Paul say in my Word that if you cannot act in faith, then you should not act at all?" the Lord reminded me.

"Not in those words, exactly, but I think that is what he meant," I agreed. (See I Corinthians 10: 23-3l) "I think he said that all things were lawful for him, as long as he gave thanks and did them for the Glory of the Lord, and did not tempt his neighbor to stumble because of his unbelief. I guess Paul did say that!"

"So, you believe that you can wear slacks with my approval?" the Lord repeated. I did, and said so. He asked again, "Anything else?" I remembered, "What about long hair, Lord?"

He said, "Second verse, same as the first. Is that all?" I could not believe my inner ears, and remarked, "You really did mean it, when you said that you would be speaking in my language. I almost don’t recognize Your Word in my language!"

The Lord answered, "If anyone has a problem with understanding what I am saying to you in your language, all he has to do is ask me directly. I will explain anything he wants to know in his language. I want my children to know the truth."

The Lord told me that I should refer my readers to what Paul said about customs as opposed to the Law where clothing and styles were concerned. He said that women were directed not to dress like men under the Old Covenant, and at the time women wore men’s ROBES to seduce other women, not men’s pants. Their motive was evil; their clothing was not. (See I Corinthians 11: 16, concerning "customs.")

"Lord, is it really a shame for a man to wear long hair?" I pursued.

"I hope not," the Lord answered. I laughed. "Sampson was forbidden to cut his hair, because he was a Nazarite," the Lord offered by way of explanation.

Paul’s statements were understood at the time, but confusion in your mind is the result of your not understanding the customs at the time. Satan is the author of confusion, not me. He has always twisted my Word to deceive and put guilt-trips on my children." I repeated the words, "guilt-trips" and laughed. I said, "I love the way you explain to me, Lord."

This time, the Lord changed the subject, "What did you do last evening?" "I Played cards with the ladies that I care for, Lord. They hate to stay in their rooms in the evening, because they miss their homes and deceased husbands at that time. We play cards and work puzzles to pass the time. Please do not tell me, we--"

The Lord interrupted, "What else did you do?" He added, "Besides occupying until I come?" I was relieved, and then I remembered, "Oh, No!"

"Out of the corner of my eye, I was watching TV," I admitted. The Lord asked, "How did it make you feel?"

"Terrible! I was really upset. This man raped and tortured a young girl, and then the authorities blamed this same girl as an accomplice, when the man killed another girl. I hated it, but I had to find out what happened next, Lord," I excused. "You don’t think that I should have been watching that show, do you, Lord?"

"That’s confession. You are forgiven," the Lord reassured me. Then He told me to read Philippians 4: 8 again. "Whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things."

The Lord explained, "Anytime your nervous system is over-stimulated by drugs, stimulants, TV programs, newspapers, books, or any other negative influence, then you are more vulnerable to attacks by Satan. Especially, if you are a woman," the Lord added.

"What did you say, Lord?" I demanded. The Lord simply told me to open my Bible to I Timothy 2: 14; "And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression."

"I thought men and women were equal in Christ Jesus, Lord. Didn’t you say that there was no male or female, no slave or free, and no Greek or Jew, if we were in you and you were in us, Lord?"

"Equal, but not exactly alike, Little One. I would never address the male of the species as ‘Little One,’ would I?" The Lord continued, "Would he listen to anything I had to say, if I did?" "Probably not.!" I agreed.

"As for women speaking in the church, Paul was speaking of prophecy and using the gifts in the main congregation. His admonition was given by me to protect women from Satan’s influence, because women are more open to anything in the spiritual realm than men. They hear both Satan and me more readily than men do, but they are less discriminating. Have you ever seen men swarming to a seance in the same numbers as women, except to collect the money or ridicule?" I laughed, because I had noticed that!

"The reason for asking your husband about a Word from me, is to have him confirm it, before announcing it in public. But Paul was also using the relationship of women to men under the Old Covenant as a means of explaining the relationship of the Church (both men and women) to me under the New Covenant.

No man should speak in the Church congregation without My Holy Spirit or as Paul was saying, without consulting his " Husband" comparing the Church to My bride. Any man who speaks in the Church except by my Spirit is holding the Lord’s name in vain," explained the Lord.

"Women of Israel have always prophesied and held positions of authority over men, and they are not forbidden to give their testimonies before the congregation. Paul was warning both men and women not to speak a prophecy without receiving it from me, and making certain it is from me. I AM the husband of all Christians. As for women teaching men, My Word says that in these last days that no man (or woman) will be teaching another, but all will learn directly from My Holy Spirit.

(See Revelations 12: 11, "And they overcame him (Satan) by their testimony...")

"You must be especially careful, because I have called you for a special mission. You are the weakest vessel that I have ever called for a mission of this kind. If a man does not believe the teachings I give you, he will lose his peace. I called you because you are a woman, and the weakness of women is their strength, while the strength of men is their weakness. Women are often too trusting, and men are often too skeptical and legalistic.

Men have not understood all that I am giving to you. But do not be afraid. You are under my protection."

"Also, because of previous attacks by Satan on your physical body, and your emotions, your credibility is zero. You must be very careful to check and double check everything that I give you."

"Lord, I think you should get someone else to do this job. I do not think..."

"That my strength is made perfect in weakness? Is that not true?" The Lord answered my thought. "Or is it my judgment that you are questioning?"

"That reminds me, I am not the only one who questions your judgment, Lord. Why wasn’t the book published, that you led me to write?"

The Lord explained to me that He did not tell me to submit the teachings He gave me for publication. I had sent the book, Should One Christian Strike Another, to about sixty publishing companies, who rejected it with no small amount of agitation in some cases. I should have been flattered by the attention some editors gave my manuscript, but I was really discouraged.

In a nutshell, I was told that I took the wrong side of the question, therefore my book would not sell. I learned that everyone believes in corporal punishment, contrary to all the propaganda preached from the pulpits that kids were being raised by permissive parents and that was the reason for hell-raising by kids. "If so many parents believed in permissiveness, then why wouldn’t my book which confirmed their beliefs with Scripture sell like hot cakes?" I demanded.

I know that my generation was the one who was reared without corporal punishment, which was against the law in schools. I asked the Lord why violence in the home has reached epidemic proportions, since I wrote that book, and since preachers have been condoning that violence from pulpits all over the land.

"My servants were not open to the teachings that I gave you, but they should be willing to listen now, considering the increase in violence that they can no longer ignore. They have been blinded by the verses in Proverbs. Did you think that they would listen to you, when they had steadfastly refused to listen to me?" the Lord chided.

"That is my point, Lord. Why would they listen to me now? They hate me!"

"I am giving you a message, especially for my servants to read. Do not submit it for publication until I tell you to do so. If they do not listen, they will lose their peace. They will be given time to modify their position, or I will instruct you to publicize what my position is on the subject.

Suddenly, I thought of a Proverb that I had never thought much about before (Proverbs 8: 13), "The fear of the Lord is to hate evil: pride, and arrogance and the evil way, and the froward mouth, do I hate."

I was thinking of all my critics who insisted that children must learn to fear the Lord by being threatened with the rod. Fear of punishment is not exactly the same thing as hating evil. I wondered how much pride had to do where blindness was concerned and why "hating evil" couldn’t be learned from parents who also hated evil--by their example.

I was beginning to realize that the Lord at the time wanted me to learn from experience in rearing my own children the validity of His teachings on this subject. In the meantime, He gave me the following message to send to ten chosen Evangelists without explaining why. I now realize that He wanted to provide evidence that the message truly was from Him. Those who ignored it did lose their peace.

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Received from the Lord on November 9, l986

In the sixties, three of our six children in their late teens had strayed from the Word. I cried out in despair, "Lord, I must be a rotten parent."

The Lord reminded me, "They are my kids, too. Do you think I am a rotten parent?" I realized that all children sin and stray regardless of who their parent is, but the Lord’s words comforted me by reminding me that God was their parent, too.

The following message that the Lord gave me to share with His servants that He named, concerns the rearing of children. Below are three Proverbs that Jesus Christ taught me as being prophetic for the nineties--not just advice for those still under The Old Covenant.

Proverbs 19: 10; "Delight is not seemly for a fool; much less for a servant to have rule over princes." The Lord said that all Christian children are heirs to the Kingdom of God, and that makes them "princes" or "princesses." They should not be brought up by servants or reared by strangers, certainly not by non-Christians.

Proverbs 17: 26; "Also, to punish the just is not good, nor to strike PRINCES for equity (as if they were common)." The Lord explained that only Proverbs mentions the use of the rod for punishment, and that was before any child or adult was a PRINCE or an heir to the throne of God. Children of the Kingdom of God are not "common," because they have the Holy Spirit living within them, teaching them, comforting them, guiding them and protecting them. Children in the Kingdom of God are brethren and no longer "your kids." Jesus said that every verse concerning "brethren" is advice for rearing kids.

If you do not understand the above interpretation of two Proverbs, then read on. The Lord is very serious about the destructive distortion of His Word by men with" good intentions" who pave the path to hell--literally driving kids out of the Kingdom of God.

The following message addressed to The Lord’s called servants was given to me on November 9, l986. I was told to mail this message to ten well-known Evangelists.

Since every word is exactly as the Lord gave it to me, I am not using quotation marks except for Bible verses that the Lord quotes from the Old Testament, even though I am quoting Him throughout the entire message. The Message begins below:

Some of you have said that your relationship to your children should be as God’s relationship is to you. Which person of the Godhead do you believe you are to represent? Do you think that you under the Old Covenant or are you under the New Covenant? The Son, became flesh, taught you by His example, shed His blood and died on the cross for your sins, forgave your sins, and sent His Holy Spirit to dwell in you. His Holy Spirit taught and comforted you, and wrote His laws on your hearts. He even gave gifts and the fruits of the Spirit to you. Is He your example, or do you want to take my place?

Also, which Covenant have I made with your children? Have you not taught them of me from their infancy? Are they not under the New Covenant also? Did not The Son, shed His blood on the cross for their sins, forgave their sins, and sent My Holy Spirit to dwell in them, teaching and comforting them, writing my laws on their hearts, and giving them gifts and the fruits of Spirit?"

Which person of Godhead do you think that you are to represent in your relationship with your children? I will tell you.

Only five Proverbs, 13: 24; 19: 18; 23: 13; 23: 14; and 29: 15 from Solomon’s wisdom tell you to rule young children with a rod. Five other Proverbs, 10: 13; 17: 10; 19: 29; 22: 15; and 26: 3 from Solomon’s wisdom tell you that the rod is for a fool’s back, and one of those Proverbs suggests that a reproof is more effective for the wise than the rod is for a fool. Is a Christian child wise or a fool? Do not blaspheme my Holy Spirit!

Solomon also states in Ecclesiastes 1: 16, 17, and 18, "I...have gotten more wisdom than all they that have been before me in Jerusalem: yea, my heart had great

experience of wisdom and knowledge. And I gave my heart to know wisdom and to know madness and folly: I perceived that this also is vexation of spirit. For in much wisdom is much grief: and he that increaseth knowledge increaseth sorrow."

Does not my Word say in Luke 10: 24, "Many prophets and kings have desired to see those things which ye see, and have not seen them; and to hear those things which you hear, and have not heard them."

Do you think the wisdom I have given to you is "vexation of spirit" or "is much grief" and "increaseth sorrow"? Yet, many of you have turned from the wisdom that I give you, that prophets and kings of old had not seen or heard, to Solomon’s wisdom concerning the rearing of your children.

Solomon’s wisdom--all that was given to him--drives children with fear which was the only way God, the Father, had to rule His children under the Old Covenant, or under the Law of Moses. Doesn’t my Word say that if the Law had been an effective way to rule, then I would not have had to go to the cross? So, why would you desire to bring your children up under the Laws of Moses? Was my sacrifice in vain? Not one child or adult received salvation under the Old Covenant.

Consider the wisdom given to you under the New Covenant as a guide for rearing your children. "For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind," Timothy 1:7.

Again, does not my Word say in I John 4: 18, "There is no fear in love but perfect love casteth out fear, because fear hath torment. He that feareth is not made perfect in love." What? Do you rear your children in fear, because you do not want them to be made perfect in my love? Incidentally, is not "the fear of the Lord to hate evil"(Proverbs 8: 13)? Are you convinced that your lack of faith is good and not evil?

Consider I Corinthians, chapter 13. You have read it, I presume? If so, how do you think you should rear your children in love, and not fear? Infidels must be reared in fear, because they cannot love as I have taught my children to love. If my children obey, only because they are afraid not to obey, their obedience is "nothing." Read I Corinthians 13 again and again and again--until you understand how to rear my children.

Is forcing your children by threatening them according to my Word? Why would you need to force them to attend church, study my Word, and participate in Bible study and family prayers? Does my Word say, "Force your children to come unto me" or "Suffer little children, and forbid them not, to come unto me for of such is the kingdom of heaven." If you must force them, then you must have given them the wrong idea of what I am like by your bad example. Why would they be afraid to come unto me?

Also, why do I say in my Word, that you should "become as little children" if little children are unwise and have need of a rod. Even Solomon said that a reproof is more effective for the wise than the rod is for a fool? If you need to become as a child to become wise, what do you think? Is the rod more appropriate for your back? Five Proverbs recommend that the rod to be used to punish fools. Have you ever preached those verses from the pulpit, then suggested that the elders take all the old fools in the congregation out to the woodshed? But, of course not! The old fools have been set free from the law. Why not the children?

Have you not read, "But whoso shall offend one of these little ones WHICH BELIEVE IN ME, it were better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck, and that he were drowned in the depth of the sea," (Matthew 18: 6)?

Children who come to me under threat of punishment will rebel against me when they reach the age of accountability. Nothing is more offensive than that! I will take your children home to be with me, before I let that happen. Now ask yourself. Why do children die young? Is it because I am a God up there who does not care? Or is it because you don’t care enough?

I will give you an example of how you have gone wrong. My Holy Spirit is working in the heart of a child, is softening the child’s heart toward his mother, leading the child to help his mother by cleaning his room. The work of my Spirit is slow and the child is slow to respond.

At that moment, the mother enters the child’s room and in her impatience (a sin), she demands immediate results or "You know what you will get!" The child knows that she is referring to the proverbial rod.

How does the child react? All the work of my Spirit in him is lost. The child becomes rebellious, stubborn, and wants to disobey his mother just because she threatened him, just when he had decided to do something to please her in love.

The child does clean his room at once to avoid what he knew would happen, if he didn’t. The next day he hears his mother boast of her success and tell her neighbor that she should "crack down on her kids, too." Deep-seated resentment wells up in the heart of her son, and he makes a decision. "I am leaving this hell-hole as soon as I can get it all together. I cannot take anymore."

Children should learn from your example as you are expected to learn from mine. What am I like? What should you be like? I know you have heard this before, but you need to hear it again. Be kind, gentle, (How do you beat your child with a rod, gently?), patient or longsuffering toward them, forgiving, not easily provoked, (The mother is saying, "Clean up your room, Martha. Do not be like Mary, who listened to Jesus, or I will be provoked."), and abstain from cigarettes, drugs, alcohol, and stimulants. (Answer to above question: Incidentally, giving your children love pats is the way to beat them gently.)

Consider Galatians 5: 22, 23; "But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, GENTLENESS, goodness, faith, meekness, temperance: AGAINST SUCH THER IS NO LAW."

Do my called servants remember how one can recognize a false teacher? Is it not, "by their fruits"? Have you decided that the fruits of the Spirit do not really include, "gentleness"? How do you think you should be judged, if you are preaching that parents should not "spare the rod"? Incidentally, no where in my Word does it say, "Spare the rod, and spoil the child." That is just an old wives tale. (Check it out, doubting Tom’s!)

Sometimes, if tempers are hot, and communication has become abusive, isolate your rebellious child, advising, "We need a break to cool off." Do not regard them as enemies, but admonish them as brethren as suggested in Colossians 3: 16, 17. Isolation for a while gives my Holy Spirit an opportunity to work, if you have not sent your child to his room in such an angry state that he cannot hear My still small voice.

Answer the questions of your children in truth and by teaching them my Word, and they will respect your judgment," because they will benefit from my blessings (Deuteronomy 11: 19-21).

Let them know my laws are for their protection and the protection of others and are given in love, so that they can have joy, peace, health, and happiness (See Galatians

5: 22-23. Tell them that if they believe in Me, they shall have eternal life, John 3: 16.

Remind your teen-agers that my Word says to obey the laws of the land for their protection, I Peter 2: 11-17, Titus 3: 1, and Romans 13: 1-2; and to "flee fornication,"

I Corinthians 6: 18, 19. Always quote Scripture when admonishing your children as brethren. They will find it more difficult to argue with me, than to argue with you.

Confess your faults, so that your children will know when and how you learned the lessons that you want them to learn, and they will respect you for your humility,

James 5: 16.

Tell your children that I am a God of love who will teach them, comfort them when they are sad, heal them when they are sick, and bless them when they are obedient. I will give them guidance so that they will be led to do what I created them to do, and I will warn them so that they will not be deceived by Satan, and answer their prayers, if they ask for anything, according to my will.

Finally, read the Sermon on the Mount again. (See Matthew, chapters, 5, 6, and 7.) I expect my faithful servants to teach these sayings or they shall lose their peace.

Do you think that you should turn the other cheek to your children or that you should give to your children what they ask as I have said to do in the Matthew 5: 39, 42.

If you have brought them to me, their requests of you will be reasonable.

YOU HAVE JUST READ THE CONCLUSION OF THE LORD’S MESSAGE! As a parent who practiced what the Lord preached to the best of my ability, I can state unqualifiedly that I had to walk one step at a time and in FAITH. My walk was not perfect, but I will never be sorry that I tried. His methods worked, when nothing else did.

Below is a list of the Evangelists, who received a copy of the above message:

1. Jerry Falwell

2. Billy Graham

3. D. James Kennedy

4. Jimmy Swaggart

5. Pat Robertson

6. Robert Schuller

7. James Dobson

8. Jim Bakker

9. Oral Roberts

10. David Wilkerson

I mailed the message above in 1986. It is no secret that Christian ministries suffered several hard blows in l987, when one scandal after another broke out. Would you say that all Christendom seemed to have lost its peace, as the Lord warned that we would, if the Evangelists did not modify their messages on rearing children as the Lord commanded? We all suffered. Now the message is to be published. Have we learned anything these last eleven years or so?

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The Lord told me to make the following announcement to the world. This announcement is a warning to those who are in the world and a call to God’s people to come out the world.

The Lord told me to send this message to His chosen servants and to witnesses in this area (Central Illinois) with these instructions: DO NOT ADD TO OR TAKE AWAY FROM THIS ANNOUNCEMENT. MAKE IT AVAILABLE FOR REPRODUCTION TO ANYONE WHO ASKS WITH THE WARNING THAT IT MUST BE EXACTLY REPRODUCED AS WRITTEN. BE SURE THAT THIS INTRODUCTION IS INCLUDED.

The Lord promised that I would never be deceived again, citing the Scripture, referring to these last days, Matthew 24:24; ... "if it were possible, they shall deceive the very elect." Jesus is suggesting that Satan cannot deceive the elect. All sincere members of the body of Christ are called "the elect."

Since the Lord gave me this entire message, I have omitted quotation marks except where the Lord quotes someone else or from His Word, THE HOLY BIBLE, as inspired by the Holy Spirit of the Lord Jesus Christ. (Comments and/or brief explanations or definitions by this messenger are enclosed in parentheses.)

Please note that the date that this message was given is in October of 1988, about one year after the P T L scandal, involving the Bakkers and Jerry Falwell, and the switch from Evangelism to political concerns (Satan’s realm) by both Jerry Falwell and Pat Robertson. Also, Robertson announced his candidacy for President of the United States in 1987. The Lord did not call them to win souls by going into the political arena.

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God did choose a witness to my testimony as follows:

Let the world know: Anyone claiming to have received a message from God must have it verified by a qualified witness. These are perilous times and many will make false claims and many more will be deceived, therefore the witness must be one who is in a position to be completely objective concerning that judgment.

1. Chinigo is recognized as being a successful businesswoman. She is owner of a newspaper, The Champaign News Gazette, l5 East Main Street, Champaign, Illinois 61820.

2. Chinigo is a dedicated Christian who donated one million dollars to Oral Roberts University, and has served on the Board of Regents of that same institution.

3. Chinigo is also an internationally recognized artist, whose works have been shown in Paris.

Matthew 18: 6; "But if he will not hear thee, then take with you one or two more, that in the mouth of two or three witnesses every word may be established."

At this point in time, Monday, November 21, 1988, this messenger of God, who recorded the enclosed message, has neither met Marajen Stevik Chinigo nor has this messenger contacted her in any manner. This messenger mailed this message to Chinigo in care of the newspaper that she owns at the above address on October 24, 1988, with the request that she file it. She can confirm the validity of this message, if anyone inquires to verify the date, or whether anything was added to or taken away from the original manuscript, I presume.

In this case, I was not instructed to ask if she agreed that the message were Scriptural or not in her opinion. The Lord said that will be for the public to decide, when the message is finally published. I am submitting this message for publication in the year of the Lord, 1998. I also sent the message to approximately forty other Christians in the area as the Lord instructed me to do. I signed it as directed by the Lord,

Messenger of the Lord, NAI-EVE

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THE MESSAGE OF NOVEMBER 21, 1988

Let those who have ears to hear and eyes to read understand. HEAR! HEAR!

The real war is a spiritual war between Satan and Jesus Christ, the Son of God. All unbelievers are like pawns on the chessboard of life, being moved back and forth from one side to the other. One is the ruler of darkness, and the other, The Son of God, is KING OF KINGS AND LORD OF LORDS RULES THE KINGDOM OF LIGHT AND GIVES ETERNAL LIFE to everyone.

The wars, battles, conflicts, and even misunderstandings that have been--and are now--the norm for this world are simply manifestations of the war going on in the shadows or in the spiritual realm that man cannot see.

Satan uses the ungodly and even the lukewarm believers to persecute the practicing believers. The true children of the Lord will not despise those who are used by Satan to torment them, because they know their tormentors are deceived and blinded by the enemy of the Lord. They also know that Satan is a defeated enemy and cannot destroy believers.

The words of the Lord from the cross ring in their ears, "Father, forgive them; they know not what they do." God’s people are called to forgive--and even to warn those who hate Christians for their tenuous position which keeps them in bondage to Satan.

Satan knows his time is short and even now he is stepping up his activity at a phenomenal rate, creating chaos, raising up false religions, accusing the innocent, destroying reputations, tempting and persecuting God’s chosen servants, and robbing them of their possessions. Also, he uses the spiritually blind and the deceived to distract all Christians from God’s purpose for their lives: that of spreading the gospel of Jesus Christ throughout the world.

Satan, the master deceiver, can change himself into an angel of light and speak great sounding, even flowing and beautiful words, to seduce the minds and the hearts of men. He can also plunge men into the depths of guilt, shame, and despair--even unto suicide--bombarding their minds with filthy accusations and condemnation. Even now, he is digging up more guilt than men have experienced by holding seances and playing other tricks of the imagination to make them believe that they have committed terrible sins in past lives--causing madness.

From the beginning Satan has raised up religions, even teaching almost all my Truths, though distorted, except one. He has abused all my laws to perform illusory "miracles" employing the black arts and occult practices and modern holistic medicine. He uses subliminal suggestion so that men believe that they can "think" themselves well, prosperous, and can attract romance. However, the only kind of healing he can perform is to remove diseases that he has caused to deceive men into believing that they can do "all things" without faith in God.

One of his more recent movements is called, The New Age. In most of his religions, he agrees with all my teachings and calls me a great teacher and philosopher, but he never admits that I am the ONLY BEGOTTEN son of God, by which all men can be set free from bondage to Satan, and receive eternal life.

Satan knows that salvation must be obtained by faith in me, and his sole purpose is to prevent that from happening. His goal is to destroy my favorite creation, MAN, just as my goal is to save MAN from that destruction. The battle for men’s souls is escalating, but I have won already won the war. Satan lost when I went to Calvary, shed my blood to redeem man on the cross, and made it known that all men can be saved, if they accept me as their Lord and Savior. Satan’s only chance of preventing that salvation is to convince men they do not need it or that they do not deserve it.

John quoted me exactly when he wrote in his letter, John 14: 6; "I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me." If anyone does not believe My Word, then let them not call me a great teacher or a great prophet who cannot lie.

My Word says that Satan is the Father of Lies. Who will you believe?

TO ALL MY CHILDREN WHO BELIEVE IN ME: Separate yourselves from the affairs of men and devote your time and monies--even your possessions--to spreading the Gospel of Jesus Christ to the lost souls all over the world. Become as one, all my people. Stand fast in this common cause. Come together with one mind, one spirit, and one purpose: that of serving the Lord thy God under one head, The Lord Jesus Christ, your Savior. I will give you all understanding. I will give all my peoples instructions, when they seek to do my will.

Beware of the legalists in this world who defend criminals with legal loopholes, and rob the innocent with legal technicalities. Do not let Satan tempt you into fighting back on his ground, using his tactics. Do not initiate any court actions or lawsuits to defend my name. My Word states, "Vengeance is mine, I will repay." Trust in me, and you cannot lose that which is mine, and you shall inherit.

It is better to suffer injustice than to allow Satan to divert what belongs to God (your time and money) into the pockets of those who are in bondage him.

BEWARE: Many legalists (attorneys) are in the protection racket. They scare you into believing that you are in danger, then they collude to create that danger. Many cases could be settled neighbor to neighbor over the back fence, but end up costing thousands of God’s money, while fattening the bank accounts of Satan’s extortionists.

FOOLISH CHILDREN: Do you not know that you are all living on borrowed property and borrowed time? Know you not that Satan is god of this world only a little longer, and has no jurisdiction over that which is MINE, even now? I paid the price and bought it all back with my blood. I AM the only one who has the right to reclaim it all.

Do not permit Satan’s machine and his mechanics harass you and tempt you into his quarters so that he can rape you and devour all your resources. You will suffer no losses, if you do not permit the enemy to turn you aside from my purposes. However, the enemy wins, even if he ultimately loses, every time he provokes you into entering into legalistic battles on his battleground.

Do not try to pass moral laws or enforce them through man’s legal systems. Or fight for freedom of religion in the schools on Satan’s battleground. The battle is won in the individual hearts of men--one soul at a time.

I have called you to be witnesses to your neighbors and friends, and to win souls into my Kingdom. You are not called to do battle with the enemy on his terms. I have already defeated him on my terms, by loving, forgiving, and laying down my life for my friends. Now, I call upon you to take up your cross and follow me. TELL EVERYONE THAT YOU MEET: JESUS CHRIST IS THE WAY AND THE TRUTH AND THE LIFE. NO ONE CAN COME UNTO THE FATHER BUT BY THE ONLY BEGOTTEN SON OF GOD, JESUS CHRIST--THE ONLY ONE WHO CAME OUT OF THE BOSOM OF GOD THE FATHER--THE ONLY ONE WHO WAS NOT CREATED, BUT CAME OUT OF THE FATHER.

Let the world deal with the problems of the world, punishing the lawless, and those who would rather have license to do as they please now, than the liberty that I give throughout all eternity. Let the world deal with murder, thefts, perjury, false accusations, and slander. Satan will throw them in prison and enslave them, and rob them of their freedom forever.

Because of their misery, I have called you to preach the gospel to them and tell them that I will set the free. Tell them that Satan caused their problems, because they believed his lies. Tell them that I came not to condemn, but to save. Let your light shine, the light of my truth, to destroy the works of darkness. Tell them that I love them, and it is my desire to set all men at liberty from the bonds of wickedness.

See John 3: 17, "For God sent not his Son into the world to condemn the world; but that the world through him might be saved."

If the law could save men, I would not have had to go to the cross. For four thousand years, man had the law, and none were saved. See Galatians 3: 21; "Is the law then against the promises, of God? God forbid: for if there had been a law given which could have given LIFE, verily righteousness should have been by the law."

Galatians 3:22, "But the scripture hath concluded all under sin, that the promise by faith of Jesus Christ might be given to them that believe."

EXAMPLE OF THE FUTILITY OF MAN’S LAWS: Women were better off with not- so-equal pay for working outside the home, when husbands took their responsibilities seriously. Men took care of their families according to the law of love (concern for the welfare of others) which I put in their hearts. More laws to care for women and children or to force men to pay the bills will not and cannot improve their condition. It costs taxpayers more to give less care to the young and the aged than most women can earn with equal pay, not to mention what wives and mothers can do to prevent the cost of crime and punishment for those crimes, if they remain in their homes.

Waiting tables, cooking and serving fast foods, running cash registers, or cleaning up after strangers are not glamorous careers and factory jobs are not fun. How many women are seduced into the work force, which they hate, by the lies of Satan?

Eve was deceived; Adam was not deceived. (I Timothy 2: 1). But "Adam" has abandoned his responsibilities of caring, protecting, and providing for his family, as I have ordained that he should do.

Women have been forced to give up what they do best and most want to do--be of service to their own husbands and their own children. They cannot serve two masters, a demanding boss, who pays their salaries, and argues that he should have all the rights (even sexual) of a "provider," and the husband they promised sexual fidelity. Sexual harassment is of the flesh, and the nature of all men who do not have my Holy Spirit, or who refuse to listen to Me. Male infidels who are bosses deceive themselves into usurping "rights" and are void of understanding. They shall pay!

HEAR WHAT I HAVE TO SAY TO JUDGES, LEGISLATORS, AND ENFORCERS OF THE LAW: Read Matthew, chapter 17. (Concerning Pontius Pilate who admitted that Jesus was innocent, but he responded to the demands of the people, and gave Barrabas, a known thief, his freedom instead of Jesus. Pilate washed his hands, saying that he was innocent of the blood of Jesus, and turned Him over to His persecutors. Was Pilate really innocent? I summarized the story, but Jesus wants those in the legal professions to read it for themselves.) Jesus Christ continued:

Remember Pontius Pilate. It is written, "Inasmuch as ye do it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me," Matthew 25: 40. Are you conscientiously seeking justice? Or do you make judgments that punish the innocent and let the guilty go free?

Are you releasing me to my persecutors as Pontius Pilate did, every time you create laws that are contrary to mine with your precedents? Or pass laws that oppress the poor in the name of giving them assistance, or make arrests on the complaint of some false accuser or without sufficient evidence? Would you crucify me again, and again, and again, because of sloth, fear of criticism, or prejudice and bigotry?

Truly, I say unto you, any judge who makes an unjust decision, knowing his decision will result in an injustice against my children, that judge will answer to me.

Woe unto judges, legislators, and law enforcers who permit loopholes in the law, technicalities, or legalistic arguments by attorneys corrupt justice and mercy. If those in the legal profession continually wash their hands, saying they are clean, when they know they are not clean, then they will regret those decisions throughout all eternity. I AM the living God. Tremble before me and fear not the traditions of mere men.

TO THE RELIGIOUS LEADERS OF THE WORLD: "Thou shalt not hold the name of the Lord, Thy God, in vain." (This means and always has meant that no one should speak vanities in the name of Jesus Christ, which is speaking without the teaching or leading of the Holy Spirit. This law is broken more times in the pulpit than by ignorant children standing on street corners as most persons believe.)

Many of you speak as the Sophists (Greeks who used sophisticated or worldly arguments to prove their pet theories or to feed their vanities, and they often based the arguments on false premises, which Jesus compared to building one’s house on sinking sand.).

Review by reading I Corinthians 12: 3 to confirm that no one can interpret my Word without the Holy Spirit (Interpretation by Rhema). No one can preach that I AM the Only Begotten Son of God, but by my Spirit. No one can win souls, unless they preach the gospel, according to the Lord. If anyone does not preach the Deity of Jesus Christ, he is preaching another Jesus by whom no one can be saved. To do so is vanity and a waste of time--motivated by greed and/or pride--not faith.

If you cannot believe that alleged fable about my entering Mary’s womb to become a man, tell me: Why do you or any scientist, physician, or professor believe all those other "fables" concerning the conception of every other organism are factual. Is one fable any more believable than another alleged fable? Can you explain the origin of life in any?

Are you skeptical because you have been taught that the life of organisms begin, when some microscopic sperm cell entering the wall of an ovum triggers its growth until a child is born? Can you explain how that miracle occurs better than you can explain how I came into being? The miracle of conception has been repeated millions--even billions--of times. Why don’t you question those miracles? If no man can explain either miracle, why do you not take the Word of one who can explain both, and stop talking about "natural phenomena" as if you knew all about it.

AGAIN I SAY UNTO THE LEGALISTS: It is written, "Render unto Caesar that which is Caesar’s," and that saying has not changed. I say unto my children, "Render unto the IRS that which is the IRS’s" but woe unto you legislators, if you vote to rob God of that which is God’s.

The pockets of those in high places who rob God by eliminating rightful deductions will be emptied--you had better believe this--your personal pockets and the pockets of your children and grandchildren will not even hold water or air, because they will be full of holes.

You may deceive the common people as to how you are voting for your own personal gain or to continue in office, but you cannot deceive "Big Brother," because he will hold you accountable for every vote to raise taxes to oppress the people. Government programs to "help" men only rob them of the money they earn, because most taxes go to those who redistribute them. Men have forgotten what could be accomplished, if they could spend all their earnings on their needs instead of paying taxes that fall short of paying the interest on the national debt.

A government agent, who is drunk with power, is bound to act like an IR-Ass sooner or later. (The Lord warned me not to correct His English. He said it and He meant it, even though I protested mildly about "pronouncing" God’s judgment on the IRS. The Lord also explained to me that he has compared man’s idea of filth by calling it "dung" or horse manure to His own idea of filth, so that men would understand what a stench the sins of man is in the nostrils of God. The Lord continues below.)

Man’s sins are compared to "dung" in the Word of God. I compared two movies, Out on a Limb and The Last Temptation of Christ, to the word for animal excrement during a conversation with my messenger. However, I reminded her that both movies awakened many Christians to express their outrage instead of their usual apathy.

Do not be offended, because to those who are pure in heart, all things are pure. As far as The Father and men who work the land with their hands are concerned, "dung" is simply part of the biological cycle that is His plan for replenishing the earth. Romans

14: 14, "I know, and am persuaded by the Lord Jesus, that there is nothing unclean of itself: but to him that esteemeth any thing to be unclean, to him it is unclean." Also, Titus 1: 15; "Unto the pure, all things are pure: but unto them that are defiled and unbelieving is nothing pure; but even their mind and conscience is defiled."

Also, II Peter 2: 22; compares false teachers who once knew the truth, but taught lies--just as those who exchanged their Christian beliefs for New Age fables--to "a dog returning to his vomit." (One can understand very graphically how the Lord feels about defectors!) What is dung today is a rose tomorrow, and I created the Jackass for a reason.

TO THE SCIENTISTS OF THE WORLD: Scientists who study phenomena which occurs in nature, including those who study my creation, will ultimately come to know the Creator. Also, the social scientists that study the behavior of men will come to know that sin is the first cause of all men’s problems. All scientists who honestly search for the truth will learn that obeying my physical laws and my moral laws are the only practical solutions to the world’s present condition.

Hear! Hear! Hear! I give you the ultimate parable. The sun is the source of all physical life, and the Son of God is the source of all spiritual life, which is eternal. The Son is flesh of God’s Flesh and bone of God’s bone and has all the attributes of the Father. Doesn’t anyone know the meaning of the word, "Begotten?" I literally came out of the bosom of God the Father, and by me all other things were created.

If you understand that the sun is the source of all physical energy that operates the physical world, which you can observe with your senses, then you can understand that I AM the Source of all spiritual life. Also, you may even be able to comprehend that the imperfect physical world is simply a manifestation of the spiritual. The sun is the source of all energy that you can measure, and the Son is the source of all life that is immeasurable. If you base your conclusions on insufficient data, you will only amuse your Creator as little children struggling to tie their shoes amuse their parents.

TO ALL MY CHILDREN: Do not be disillusioned by what has taken place in all Christendom this past year. My servants were not prepared for the viciousness of Satan’s attacks in these last days. However, they must become aware, and look up, because the end is at hand. My servants need your support, not your condemnation.

Faithful stewards may own one residence, a fine automobile, and live in residences that are used and owned by their ministries without censor. They may own jets or fly in jets owned by their ministries, as they cannot depend on commercial flights to obey me as I lead them all over the world to preach the gospel.

To avoid unnecessary attacks by Satan, they may need to take precautions to protect their families from persecution, as my stewards are especially vulnerable to such attacks. Do not begrudge the measures they take to fulfill the needs of their calling. They need freedom to act as my Spirit leads without interference from the enemy.

Faithful servants welcome the auditing of their books so that they will not give Satan an excuse to accuse them falsely, and they should provide information to their supporters, concerning the results of these audits. Faithful servants also must be on guard to resist the temptations of the devil, who knows the weaknesses of all men. They must not even give the appearance of evil, and keep all their activities above-board and before witnesses, so that the enemy cannot find cause for condemning them.

If my servants fail, they must openly confess and repent, or I must expose them and remove them from service. I cannot permit anyone to preach the gospel in my name, if they hold that name in vain. But do not permit the enemy to destroy any ministry that is led by a truly repentant servant: and do not permit the frailties of some of my servants to disillusion you and discourage you from supporting others.

Hear! Hear! Hear! ALL LEADERS WHO ARE WISE IN THE WAYS OF THE WORLD: Seek the counsel of the Lord before making decisions. I say unto the Christian leaders, be merciful, loving and forgiving. I say unto the political leaders; be firm and fair in your judgments. It is your job to protect my people from the unmerciful, unrepentant, destructive, and those who are in bondage to Satan.

I have called some to preach the gospel and others to protect and defend the weak against the machinations of Satan. Obey the laws of the land, because I put those who are in power for a reason.

Finally, do not interfere with my plan by legalizing abortions or advocating capital punishment. Instead, preach the gospel to unwed mothers and to the men in prison so that their souls will be saved. All men must hear the gospel. THEN SHALL THE END COME.

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